“If you can change your mind, you can change your life!!”

Dreaded of that weekly review meeting with your manager or just hate to get up in the early morning for that quick jog before work or everyday meal planning and tiffin preparation for kids bothers you too to the core, don’t worry, you are not alone!! We all have those few things we feel dull, tedious or tiresome about and having to do them repeatedly feels draining. But have you ever given it a thought that is it only the task that is making us miserable or the way we look at it? Actually, it’s not just the thought but the way our brain packages it makes the difference.

Let’s understand the science behind it. In psychology, there is a concept called “The Framing effect.” It’s basically a bias where people make different choices based on how information is presented, even when the underlying facts remain identical. Actually, words, context, or emphasis shape our perception of data. Also, our brain relies on fast, intuitive thinking rather than slow, logical analysis. So, negative phrasing like “I have to do this” about any task acts as a trigger and creates mild response of stress or avoidance. Let’s consider another example, when a doctor mentions of 90% survival rate of a surgery, the patient is likely to opt for it rather than when the data is represented in terms of 10 % mortality, although the meaning is same.

Similarly, using the phrase “I have to” creates a psychological feeling of being trapped or forced, and invites immediate resistance. When we replace “I have to” by “I get to”, the obligation turns into an opportunity or privilege. Thus, that weekly review meeting with your manager creates less apprehension when you say, “I get to share my tasks with the manager and listen to his feedback about my work (which may be positive or negative but ultimately helps me grow).” Does the scenario change…NO, but the packaging does. The mindset shifts from looking at the tasks as heavy burdens to taking it as active choices and privileges. Saying “I have to” triggers feelings of force and resentment, while “I get to” fosters gratitude and personal agency. Try saying “I get to move my body today.” instead of “I have to go to the gym.” You will feel the mindset shift from just a chore to effort towards building health.

Let’s look at some pointers for practicing mindset reframing in our daily life.

• Watch out for the use of critical high-friction words like “should,” “must,” or “need to” in the self-talk.
• Use mid-task reframing when the initial of positive energy wears off midway into the task and you give in to distractions. Focus on “Look how much I’ve already taken care of.” rather than on “I still have so far to go.”
• In stressful situations, look for that silver lining. “At least” rule works better in such cases. So, next time when you are stuck in traffic, you can say, “At least I have a good podcast to listen to while I wait.” Of course, this rule works with minor setbacks, inconveniences, or unchangeable situations and not with serious issues.

Although, mindset reframing can help you, I won’t forget to add a disclaimer that reframing isn’t about lying to yourself or pretending bad situations are wonderful. It is not toxic positivity either because toxic positivity denies reality. Mindset reframing is in a way cognitive restructuring wherein the most constructive perspective within that reality is considered to reduce stress. It helps us accept the situations which cannot be readily changed.

Remember, mindset reframing is not a magic switch that will do wonders. It needs lots of practice where you consciously choose to pause and reframe your thoughts.

“Reframe your story and you will change your life!!“

Can you think of a task that dreads you often and replace “I have to” for “I get to,”. Pour in your experiences in the comment section!!