A lack of communication breeds assumptions of what the other person is thinking or feeling. Assumptions are more often than not incorrect!

Mysty Lynn Walker

Relationships, whether personal or professional, are integral part of our life! We invest so much in all the important relationships that we have. And then, quite obviously (as we feel), we expect returns of this investment from the other person involved in that relationship. Till here, it’s fine but the real struggle starts when this expectation unknowingly takes form of demand. Then same relationship which used to be the reason of joy turns out to be the main despair of our life. Does this sound like a tragic movie story?? It may sound like one but believe me this is the bitter truth of so many relationships around us.

Well, every relationship takes its own course but one of the most crucial factors that decides the fate of our close relationships is communication. Proper communication works like a bridge which keeps the two persons connected. There is always a scope for disagreements, misunderstandings, conflicts in any two persons which are bound to affect the relationship between them. But what is important is that how we work through these conflicts. This is where effective communication comes into picture.

Now, a question may arise that what exactly this effective communication means?? I feel, to answer this question we should first know some basics about communication. Communication is basically process of information exchange wherein thoughts, opinions, ideas, knowledge, etc. is shared between two individuals. Also, communication can be done in different forms like verbal, non-verbal, written, etc. For any communication to be effective, it should follow ‘5 Cs’ of communication i.e. it should be clear, correct, complete, concise and compassionate. If the exchange between two individuals follows these basic rules, the communication would be a lot easier as each person would feel satisfied at the end of such exchange.

There are a few more steps we can follow for effective communication especially during the conflicts or disagreements. Blaming a person is a clear no-no in any type of conflict because blaming shifts the focus from the problem to person and then the whole situation gets trickier as the other person also has his say starting a whole new blame game thus losing the track of the actual situation/problem which created the conflict. This usually happens during arguments between couples where this blame game turns a small disagreement into a full-blown battlefield. Here, the use of “I” statements may come to the rescue. For example, instead of saying “You don’t care about my feelings!”, you can say, “I feel frustrated when my feelings are not acknowledged.” When we communicate using “I statements”, you just convey what you are feeling without directly putting blame on the other person. In this case, there is a room for further discussion about how the situation can be handled whereas when you directly blame other person, he/she may get defensive and try turning tables on you. Therefore, conscious changes in the way we communicate can bring in positive outcome.

Another important aspect of effective communication is active listening. I know, this sounds funny. Afterall, how can listening be a part of communication? But it definitely is, and active listening is not just hearing out the other person but also attending to their thoughts and feelings, asking for necessary clarifications and not being judgmental. Active listening is beneficial in dealing with conflicts especially with kids. Empathetic listening is really important as it can open the channels for communication. Listening doesn’t mean agreement with everything you listen; it just means you are available for the other person to share his/her side of the story. Communication works best when you keep working at it. So, learn to communicate effectively with those who add some meaning to your life.

Remember,

Bad communication ends a lot of good things; good communication ends a lot of bad things!!