The problem is that we always look for the missing piece of the puzzle instead of finding a place for the one in our hand!!

Imagine you are sitting in a conference hall with a beautifully tiled ceiling. While admiring the beauty of that ceiling, you happen to notice one missing tile in that aesthetically done ceiling. Now what happens? Your vision that was earlier busy admiring the ceiling, now gets stuck just on that one missing tile. Now you just focus on that missing tile conveniently forgetting the fact that the rest of the ceiling is not just flawless but also beautifully done. This tendency is known as “The Missing Tile Syndrome.”

This concept of ‘missing tile’ underlines how prone we are to look only at the defect in any item or in its making. In the same way, in our personal as well as professional lives, our attention easily gets drawn to the defect in work or personalities of other humans. This also works the same way with our lives also. If something is lacking in my life, I just focus on that one missing thing while completely ignoring ten other good things. And this “Missing Tile Syndrome” then becomes the main reason of our unhappiness.

There will always be something missing in our lives. Someone will be taller than me, someone will have bigger house than me, someone else will be earning more than me. The list doesn’t end here. Especially, in this era of social media where everyone is busy in putting their best foot in the front and showcasing it to the whole world, we tend to realize the presence of that missing tile even more. And this will result in unhappiness, dissatisfaction, jealousy, stress and other negative emotions. So, what can we do to fix this missing tile syndrome?

There are few things that can help us.

• If your missing tile is anything which is unrealistic, unachievable or beyond your control, try to shift your focus from that thing to something more fruitful.
• Accept that you can’t have it all and try to find out things that are achievable and within your control and find happiness in them.
• If the missing thing is something which is realistic then of course try to achieve it by working on it in the right direction with the needed efforts instead of just cribbing about not having it in your life.
• The most important of all is to shift your focus to other beautiful things which you already have in your life like a healthy body, loving relationships, etc.
• Stop searching for your missing tiles by comparing your life with others. Remember, grass is always greener on the other side!!
• Finally, being grateful for what you have in your life is much better and helpful than just focusing on the lacunae.

We have to make a choice whether to focus on all the tiles that are making the ceiling beautiful or the ones that are missing!! Ultimately, our choice will decide how happy and satisfied we will be, isn’t it?

Accentuate the positive, not the negative. It sounds so trite, but a lot of people will pick out something to complain about, rather than say,’ Hey, that was great!’ It’s not hard to find great stuff if you look.

Betty White.